Thursday, November 5, 2009

Inspirational Words from T.D. Jakes

Someone hurt me pretty bad a couple days ago. My cousin sent this to me to lift my spirits and it worked. I'm presenting it to you just in case you are in need of a pep talk like I did. If the spirit hits you to read it twice, by all means help yourself. We all need to know that hurt is going to come but by the grace of God it will not last for long. Give your troubles over to Him and then sit back and watch the blessings flow.
"Let it go" by T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, or staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us
that it might be made manifest that they were not for us.

For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you
And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person
it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over
so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful; it's that I'm faithful,
and I know that whatever God means for me to have
He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.

Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you
and was never intended for your life, then you need to .LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains..LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ...LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction. LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents... LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself,
and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a New Thing for this New Year!!! LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left -- think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!
"The Battle is the Lord's!"

Friday, August 21, 2009

New Member of The Eagles Michael Vick

Due to the recent signing of Michael Vick, a number of people have been in an uproar. Why? Yes he did do something terrible to beautiful animals. Yes I was also disgusted when I first found out. But why should he have to continue to pay for the mistake he made after the time he served? If anyone should be to blame, blame the court that sentenced him and then released him. I absolutely love animals but do we as humans hold an animals life more important over another humans life? There are so many other things in our world to worry about that this just seemed so ridiculous to me. MV is trying to prove that he feels remorse so lets give him a chance. There are men on death row writing books that are becoming best sellers and they're doing it from prison. They took another human being's life and are able to be accepted by society more successfully than Michael Vick? I would probably loose it if anything happened to my daughter's kitten. Whether it was a mistake or even on purpose, I would still forgive. I also heard on the news that people are going as far as posting their season tickets on EBay to make a stand or a point. Why? Don't we remember how crazy the Philly area went when the Phillies won last year? Do you really mean to tell me that this one man is worth missing out on the chance to see the Eagles take it home this year? Hell even my 9 year old daughter and myself were outside banging on pots and pans with neighbors when the Phillies won last year. I don't care for sports like I used to but it was in it's own way a part of our "Eastcost History". I think everyone should just move on and worry about more important things like I don't know. . . the present recession maybe.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Black people this is serious. This following Blog was an email that was sent to me intended to be passed around. During Slavery, our people physically struggled to be educated. If they were caught they were tortured if not put to death. Even our Ancestors realized the importance of an education and this was hundreds of years ago. What has happened to us since then? Why has material things become our goal instead of our goal being the knowledge to get them? There is a difference. Whatever happened to: Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime? Although the author of this article seems extremely racist, some of the points being made hold some truth. Please help our next generation not fall into the bonds of "Keeping up with the Jones".



The sad thing about this article is that the essence of it is true. The truth hurts. I just hope this sets more Black people in motion towards making real progress. Chris Rock, a Black comedian, even joked that Blacks don't read.

Help prove them wrong! Read and pass on.

Please Note:

For those of you who heard it, this is the article Dee Lee was reading this morning on a New York radio station. For those of you who didn't hear it, this is very deep. This is a heavy piece and a Caucasian wrote it.

Dee Lee, CFP
Harvard Financial Educators

Dee Lee

THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES We can continue to reap profits from the Blacks without the effort of physical slavery Look at the current methods of containment that they use on themselves: IGNORANCE, GREED, and SELFISHNESS.

Their IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. A great man once said, "The best way to hide something from Black people is to put it in
a book." We now live in the Information Age. They have gained the opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of their fight for freedom, yet they refuse to read. There are numerous books
readily available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and, not to mention their own Black Book- stores that provide solid blueprints to reach economic equality (which should have been their fight all along),
but few read consistently, if at all.

GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Blacks, since the abolition of slavery, have had large amounts of money at their disposal.
Last year they spent 10 billion dollars during Christ-
mas, out of their 450 billion dollars in total yearly income (2.22%).

Any of us can use them as our target market, for any business venture we care to dream up, no matter how outlandish, they will buy into it.
Being primarily a consumer people, they function totally by greed. They continually want more, with little thought for saving or investing.

They would rather buy some new sneaker than invest in starting a business. Some even neglect their children to have the latest Tommy or FUBU, And
they still think that having a Mercedes, and a big house gives them "Status" or that they have achieved their Dream.

They are fools! The vast majority of their people are still in poverty because their greed holds them back from collectively making better communities.

With the help of BET, and the rest of their black media that often broadcasts destructive images into their own homes, we will continue to see huge profits like those of Tommy and Nike. (Tommy Hilfiger has even
jeered them, saying he doesn't want their money, and look at how the fools spend more with him than ever before!). They'll continue to show off to each other while we build solid communities with the profits
from our businesses that we market to them.

SELFISHNESS, ingrained in their minds through slavery, is one of the major ways we can continue to contain them. One of their own, Dubois said that there was an innate division in their culture. A "Talented
Tenth" he called it. He was correct in his deduction that there are segments of their culture that has achieved some "form" of success.
However, that segment missed the fullness of his work. They didn't read that the "Talented Tenth" was then responsible to aid The Non-Talented Ninety Percent in achieving a better life. Instead, that segment has created another class, a Buppie class that looks down on their people or aids them in a condescending manner. They will never achieve what we have. Their selfishness does not allow them to be able to work together on any project or endeavor of substance. When they do get together, their selfish- ness lets their egos get in the way of their goal Their
so-called help organizations seem to only want to promote their name without making any real change in their community.

They are content to sit in conferences and conven- tions in our hotels, and talk about what they will do, while they award plaques to the best speakers, not to the best doers. Is there no end to their selfishness?
They steadfastly refuse to see that TOGETHER EACH ACHIEVES MORE (TEAM)

They do not understand that they are no better than each other because of what they own, as a matter of fact, most of those Buppies are but one or two pay checks away from poverty. All of which is under the
control of our pens in our offices and our rooms.

Yes, we will continue to contain them as long as they refuse to read, continue to buy anything they want, and keep thinking they are "helping" their communi- ties by paying dues to organizations which do little other than hold lavish conventions in our hotels. By the way, don't worry about any of them reading this letter, remember, 'THEY DON'T READ!!!!

(Prove them wrong. Please pass this on! After Reading it..)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Sugar Daddy or Security Blanket?

Many women find an older more mature man extremely attractive. I personally prefer to date men a little older than myself. I’m not saying that older men are better. I’ve dated my share of “Duds” in my day. What we usually look for is seasoned experience. My opinion is that due to the fact that women mature earlier than men, we look for that compatibility in a partner. We want to share our lives with another grown-up that has finished growing up. Life has enough stresses. The last thing we need is to come home to another adult whose top goal in life is to make it to the fourth or fifth level of some video game.  

Of course there are a number of women who give us females a bad name. They are in search of a “Sugar Daddy”. An older man to them is not just a potential partner but also a paycheck. They are chasing the All American Dream called the mighty dollar. It does not bother them to offer themselves as opposed to putting in 40 hours the more respectable and honorable way. They want what they want and lying on their backs for an hour seems to be the lesser of the two evils.

But make no mistake; there are still a significant number of women who are honest with their intentions. Our futures are not something to mess with and living a clean and sincere lifestyle is priority. We are in search of that special someone who we can spend the rest of our lives with. Some may call it a security blanket but who wouldn’t want to secure their future? Choosing a compatible mate is not just about looks or how the two of you get along. After a certain age we should all be putting the games away and act our ages.  

Monday, July 20, 2009

Tyler Perry's Kindness- Just Amazing!

If you live in the Philly, PA area then chances are that you've probably heard of this story in the news.  Black kids were turned away from a swim club due to the color of their skin.  This story obviously got around because here is Tyler Perry giving a very generous gift to lift up and support these children who have witnessed racism first hand in the year 2009.  

When you get a chance please go to his website and sign up to receive his newsletter.  They are a very nice read and always full of information.  Here's the latest newsletter I received from Tyler Perry.  he is truly one awesome man.


This made me so angry.

Since Michael Jackson died I have not watched the news. I have just been
so disgusted at how the mainstream media has riddled this family with
disrespect, and no matter what anyone, you or I included, might have
thought of him, the truth of the matter is this - the man was still a
human being and his kids and family deserve some privacy and space. And I
know that I'm not the only one that feels this way, so I purposely kept
the TV off. Anyway, I was walking through the house, and I don't know how
this TV was on, but I saw a little boy on the news crying his eyes out. 
So I turned it up. Here is this kid talking about being kicked out of the
Valley Swim Club outside Philadelphia because he was black. Did you hear
me? I said, "No way, this can't be! It's 2009. I don't believe this!" But,
I know it happens even in this year of Obama.

As I listened to the story the anchorperson went on to talk about a woman
named Althea Wright. This young lady started a non-profit called Creative
Steps to help inner-city children. And apparently she had booked the
Valley Swim Club's pool and paid for it to be used by the children through
the summer. As we all know, this is such a great thing. During the summer
our kids can get into a lot of trouble if they don't have something
creative to do. Anyway, as the story went on I was shocked to find out
that it wasn't just him but 65 children in all, black and Hispanic kids,
that were kicked out of the pool. You should Google this story and read it
online for yourself. It's crazy! I went from being mad to being furious.

The news reporter went on to say that the president of the club and its
members said, and I quote, "We don't want to change the complexion of our
club." The president refunded the money of the children and asked them not
to come back. WHAT?! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I said I
have to do something for these children. I can't let them think that they
are inferior because of the color of their skin. Then that night I saw
the president of the Valley Swim Club on the news again saying that he
misspoke and that it was a safety issue and the club wasn't able to
accommodate so many children. But the children themselves reportedly said
that members were taking their kids out of the pool, and that they were
saying things like, "Why are they here?" and "They're black", even
insinuating that these kids would steal or maybe hurt their children.

Now get this. A few days later I catch the story again on CNN. This time
the club was inviting the kids to come and swim. WHAT?! I'm confused. If
you refunded the money because there was not enough room in the pool and
it was a safety issue then why are you asking the same 65 kids to come

This is awful, and for anyone that has grown up in the inner-city, you
know that one small act of kindness can change your life. These kids see
the images of President Obama on TV and then they see the drug dealers and
thugs on the corner. Which do you think is more their reality? One act of
kindness, one person telling them that they are special, one moment of
encouragement can make them move mountains. I know it to be true because I
was one of them. They don't need to be called names and be told that they
are less than, because of the color of their skin or because of where they
come from.

I was told that one of these children, a seven year old, asked her mother
if she was "to black to be in a pool." How do you answer that? How do you
get a seven year old past that? Again, it broke my heart and I wanted to
do something, and I feel like you all would want to do something, too.
That's why I'm telling you this. Since you all have put me in the position
to be able to do something I feel like by me doing this we are all doing
it together. So what I did was on Aug 1st thru 3rd I'm sending these kids
to Disney World, and then to a Disney water park. I want them to know that
for every act of evil that a few people will throw at you, there are
millions more who will do something kind for them. This is all about the
kids. So, thank you for letting me do this. Thank you so much. And do me
a favor please. When you see these kids coming through the airport, (I'm
sure you won't be able to miss them. I imagine they are going to be super
excited) when you see them in the park and in the hotel, let's show them a
whole lot of love and respect. Show them that they are just as good as
anyone else. And show them that they can do or be anything they want to
be no matter what any one says!


Tyler Perry

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Deprogramming After Visitation

  If you are a single parent who’s child goes through visitation with the other parent you know what Deprogramming your child is all about. In many cases of separation or divorce, there is often an uncooperative parent when it comes to raising a child you have both produced. One parent wants to raise their child a certain way and the other parent thinks differently. Instead of coming to terms or compromising this turns into a kind of battle because there is no meeting of the minds. The one who suffers the most is the child. This becomes confusing for the child and when they come back home after visitation they often still show signs of the other way of life. Deprogramming is necessary to get the child back on track and often takes a day or two. Most times the primary parent is constantly correcting their child’s behavior or they find themselves reiterating house rules. A child needs rules. It teaches them responsibility so that when they grow up they become responsible. Often times the parent who is granted the visitation is not as strict as the primary parent and they spoil the child. This may be out of guilt because they feel like they have to catch up due to the loss of time not spent with the child.  

  Also in many cases it is the mother who is the primary custodian. Mothers are portrayed as being too rough or too strict on their children and in my opinion it’s for good reason. It’s one thing to bring up a child to be strong physically and another thing to bring them up to be mentally strong. As a single mom myself, I fear that my daughter might be taken advantage of when she gets older. I try to instill in her the importance of an education. In this day and age it is possible to land a great job without a degree, but why wouldn’t you want to improve your chances of better pay and increase your chances of moving up the ladder with a degree? There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big and since we are parents we have to do this for our children until they are old enough to do it for themselves.

  On the opposing parent’s side, they much like the child do not seem to stress this point as strongly. It’s all about having fun when the child is in their custody. It seems like their goal is either to let a child be a child until they’re 30 or they want to be seen as the favorite parent. I’ll use my situation as an example. My daughter wanted to join cheerleading in her father’s town and not ours this past September. I agreed with the one stipulation that if her grades slip then she’s off the squad. Her father and I did not see eye to eye on this so obvious requirement. When he picked her up from school she was to go to his house and do her homework first and then go to practice. Well this was not being done. Her grades went down substantially and neither one of them informed me. I was left out of the loop until a concerned note came home from her teacher. It was written on a large yellow envelope full of work from my child and another sheet signed by her father at least three times. This sheet went home weekly from the teacher to keep the parent abreast of their child’s progress. My daughter and her father were sending it back to school without my knowledge. For almost a whole month my daughter’s grades suffered until I stepped in. She of course was upset with me because I held to my word and pulled her off of cheerleading. I explained to the both of them that if she was on the squad in our town with the grades she produced that they would’ve done the same. Needless to say, her father’s only concern was the money he put out for registration and a uniform. Her tears and his complaint did not move me in the least especially since I had to dedicate even more time than usual on homework and extra credit to get the grades back up.

  Another concern that I have for my child is if she’ll be a contributor to society or a drain. This entails common sense, independence, a bit of street smarts and a number of other attributes a productive adult should have. The best way to get this ball rolling is with chores and allowance. I believe and was raised with the belief that if a child is old enough to pull toys out then there are old enough to learn how to put them away. If a parent is constantly doing this for a child of theirs then the only thing they are teaching them is that the parent will always be there to clean up after them. It only starts with toys and if not dealt with correctly can lead to more serious situations. One of the best ways kids learn is through repetition.  

  A chore chart might appear to be too militant to some, but it can also serve as a great tool in parenting. Kids can ceremoniously learn that if they work they can get paid. If a parent believes that their child is too young to receive an allowance then they can use the bargaining method. When I started a chore chart for my daughter I felt she was too young for an allowance. Her chart had a spot after each chore for a check mark. I told her that if all of her chores were completed by the end of the week, then she could pick an activity like the movies. Don’t get me wrong. It took a little time for the chart to catch on because she was not given chores at her father’s house. She had only but to ask for what she wanted and it would be given to her whether she was well behaved or not. This includes, in my opinion, behavior in both houses as well as school.  

  These are just a few suggestions to aid in Deprogramming process. They might not work for everyone but it’s a good start. Many of us do not have the luxury of being in a good relationship with the other parent of our children. If you are count your blessings because it just makes raising a child even harder when co-parenting is not an option. Please remember that the one who suffers the most is the child and regardless of the situation we have to do everything in our power to make sure they have a positive upbringing.  

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Art Of Control In Relationships

Why do some men feel the need or feel that they have the right to control a woman?  I do believe in God and the Bible but are we supposed to give up who we are?  I have had countless friends and have experienced this myself.  We start dating some guy who obviously was attracted to us for a number of reasons.  So why then after a month or so does he all of a sudden want to change what he was initially attracted to?  Just out of the blue, we suddenly are too sensitive or we wear too much make-up or we smoke too much.  Exactly who's eyes were closed at the beginning? His or mine?

We all need to learn how to choose our battles.  Let the small stuff go.  Everyone has little idiosyncrasies that might annoy someone else.  We also need to realize that if a month later our new significant other makes our skin crawl then why are we still with them?  Physical attraction is normal and natural because we're all human.  But please don't ever think that you're starting with a giant pile of clay just waiting for your talented hands to design.  I personally have no problem if someone thinks differently than I do.  I do on the other hand have a problem with someone not accepting me for me and feeling the need to point out every "mistake" I make because it's not what they would do.  

I can not accept not being accepted.  When in a relationship we put our best foot forward at the beginning, but is this wise?  You should be yourself at all times because it's less stressful.  You should really know who you are by adulthood.  My belief is that couples work best when they love, trust and cooperate.  If two people are working at their relationship then their chances of surviving are greater.  But if saving a relationship is left up to one person then that's neither fair or profitable.  Some even speak of compromise but again I must point out that it takes two.  If only one is conforming due to a partners wishes than that's not compromising, that's following orders.