Friday, May 15, 2009

The Art Of Control In Relationships

Why do some men feel the need or feel that they have the right to control a woman?  I do believe in God and the Bible but are we supposed to give up who we are?  I have had countless friends and have experienced this myself.  We start dating some guy who obviously was attracted to us for a number of reasons.  So why then after a month or so does he all of a sudden want to change what he was initially attracted to?  Just out of the blue, we suddenly are too sensitive or we wear too much make-up or we smoke too much.  Exactly who's eyes were closed at the beginning? His or mine?

We all need to learn how to choose our battles.  Let the small stuff go.  Everyone has little idiosyncrasies that might annoy someone else.  We also need to realize that if a month later our new significant other makes our skin crawl then why are we still with them?  Physical attraction is normal and natural because we're all human.  But please don't ever think that you're starting with a giant pile of clay just waiting for your talented hands to design.  I personally have no problem if someone thinks differently than I do.  I do on the other hand have a problem with someone not accepting me for me and feeling the need to point out every "mistake" I make because it's not what they would do.  

I can not accept not being accepted.  When in a relationship we put our best foot forward at the beginning, but is this wise?  You should be yourself at all times because it's less stressful.  You should really know who you are by adulthood.  My belief is that couples work best when they love, trust and cooperate.  If two people are working at their relationship then their chances of surviving are greater.  But if saving a relationship is left up to one person then that's neither fair or profitable.  Some even speak of compromise but again I must point out that it takes two.  If only one is conforming due to a partners wishes than that's not compromising, that's following orders.  

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