Friends Over Family

We lost our mother in 1990 to cancer and a couple years later is when the "Big Ten Year Silence" began. At different times we were all homeless and helped each other out. That was incredibly hard on me because I was only 18 years old at the time. But isn't that what family is supposed to do? When one falls another is supposed to be their to pick them up. When a close family member passes, most especially a parent, shouldn't that bring them closer together? Am I the only one who thinks like this?

Everyday I hear a story about people having a fight or argument with someone in their family and then opting not to speak to that person for however long. There is something just not right about this picture to me. Why is it that as family we can not just argue and then move on without closing the door on the person that didn't agree with us? I can speak from experience. A few years ago this happened to me for the millionth time. I had an argument with a sibling, they strongly disagreed or was hurt by what was said and decided that the best thing for them to do, as always, was to Ex me AND my daughter out of their life. How immature is that?

What excuse could anyone have to Ex a child, who had absolutely nothing to do with the adults arguing, out of their life? Are some of us that soft in the spine that we actually think that running away from hurt is going to stop the hurt and must everyone in the world agree with us no matter what? How selfish. I did try to make an effort to patch things up but they went ignored so I stopped trying.

Part of their excuse was money. Families pass money between hands on a daily basis. When one cares for someone that's one of the things we do to alleviate some of the suffering. In the same breath, we can not pretend that all the other gifts we give hold no value (i.e.-food, housing, daily essentials, ect) like the all might dollar. What would you rather have money or family? Don't answer that, LOL! What I'm saying is that a few bucks as compared to your remaining years on this planet spent alone or with limited familiar faces around you are hardly reasons to carry on a farse that these humans no longer exist. Life is way to precious to me. I try to keep in touch with as many family members as possible. I'm still pretty close with most.

Currently, I have a new network of friends that I am so close to we are like family. Don't get me wrong, we still argue but we don't do the Na-na-nana stuff that we did as kids. We either except that the other person just feels or thinks differently or we just drop it and move on. It's important to them that we stay close. A few are going through what I am or simply live a great distance from blood relatives and because of a disagreement don't feel the urgency to extend themselves so they choose friends over family.

We spend a lot of time together during holidays. We celebrate birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, or just because we might feel like it we'll have huge dinners on Sundays because "that's how we roll". Each of us in our own way freely contributes to all gatherings. It's never about who spent the most. It's about spending time with the people we love. Who in their right mind would want to miss out on this?

This is for my FAMILY- My Baby Amalia ( Maya, aka Shorty), My Sweetie Isaac ( Butchie), Dad (Pop Pop, aka Big Tom), My Step Mom Phyllis (Footie), MyAunts- Esther (Auntieeee!), Margie, Grandma Laura (My Namesake, aka Miss Lottie, aka Show Me Whatcha Workin With!), My Brothers- Reggie (Reggie Reg, aka Mr. Skillz), Nathan, Jamal (J.J.), Phillip, My Sister Caprice, My Cousins- Tameka & Kayden, Tara (Quazea), Alex, Ayesha, Derrick (Hustle Man), Randy, My Uncles- Rufus, Freddy, Oscar, Jose, My Friends- Loretta (Lola, aka Becca), Dawn(Dusk), Miloni (Mimi), Kirsten(Bubbles), Jake (Jay-Ka-Bob), Suzzane (Zeik), Mike (Miguel, aka Stoooopid!)Thea (aka Becca), Shanna, Coleen ( Cocoa-Leen), Tammy, Leroy, Kevin, Sidonna (The Island Queen), Helen & Glenn, Melissa (Lissa, aka Weezy), Deanna, My Stand-in Parents- Patricia & Otis in Fl and Gloria (aka Mom Dukes) in NJ.

I wouldn't trade anything in the world for a day or night of laughing, joking and tears too with my loved ones.

P.S. Sorry if I missed anyone, will update soon. Lol